I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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