K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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