so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
