am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
where does the pee come out of this thing
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
