he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
