If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
