id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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