So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
