Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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