If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
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She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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