are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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