apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
