I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
