...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
