I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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