That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
