summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
