We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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