Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
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I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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