I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
