lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
