Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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