More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
