Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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