My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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