Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize