He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
