Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
