There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize