how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
