also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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