Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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