I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
