Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
