I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
