All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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