I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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