thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
