if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
50% drunk capacity currently
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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