I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
