bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
