I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Houston, we have a squirter
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
