We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize