I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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