It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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