oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
