I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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