Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
