last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
