I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
