I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
