I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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