I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
