Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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