so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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