thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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