Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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