glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
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Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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