Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
