so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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