Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
