we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize