it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
